Solve Disputes Between Families With Mediation

Last Updated: 4/7/2008

The stress of taking care of an elderly family member can tear families apart. Conflict can erupt between siblings or between an adult child and his or her parent. Siblings may disagree on who should have power of attorney, one sibling may feel that he or she is doing all the caregiving, or a parent and child may disagree about the best living situation for the parent. In these situations, mediation may be the solution.

Mediation allows all the parties to sit down and discuss the issues and try to come up with a solution that everyone can agree on. A mediator is a neutral third party who can help families come to a consensus on a number of family issues from estate planning to guardianship decisions to living arrangements.

Mediation is completely voluntary. For it to be effective, all relevant family members should be involved. You can also involve other professionals, such as a geriatric care manager, a family lawyer, or a financial planner. The mediator doesn’t make any decisions and doesn’t take sides. Instead, the mediator listens to the issues, keeps the family focused on the goals, encourages consideration of all the options, and helps clear up misunderstandings and address hurt feelings. Through this process, the family can come up with answers to problems or ways of solving conflicts. The idea is not to have a winner or loser, but to have a solution everyone is happy with.

To find a mediator, look in your local phone book or get a referral from the Association for Conflict Resolution.