Oh my little blog….I have neglected you. I am so sorry….But I am back with more information and more stories.
WHEN LAWYERS BEHAVE BADLY…..
I was in Family Court the other day, and the Judge made a huge deal about the client’s treating each other with respect. It was a case where both the Mother and Father wanted custody. They were both pointing fingers at the other for having “issues” (anger, alcohol, etc.) and both got upset. Then you add in the attorney’s comments about the situation, “well my client told me blah blah blah…” and the other one says, “Well that’s not true…blah blah blah…” and things go from bad to worse.
I often see attorneys making their client’s cases worse by saying horrible things about the other parent. This inevitably leads to more contention and fighting because of course, the other lawyer then starts bashing the other parent, and so on and so on and so on. The Judge usually gets mad and sometimes evens threatens the parents that if they can’t get along, their children might end up in foster care!
So I ask myself, what is the lawyer’s obligation to his or her client?
Aren’t we supposed to help our client’s get through their legal problems with the least amount of fighting? Or is it the other way around? Are we supposed to fight to get them the best outcome?
When I meet a new client, I always ask him or her, what their goal is in the process, whether it is a Family Court case or a Divorce matter. I then assess whether it’s reasonable and/or achievable; and then try to figure out the best way to get there.
I am of the position that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
Don’t get me wrong, where there is a fight to be had, I am in there swinging (not physically of course) but legally. I will defend my client, but I don’t come out of the gate like a crazy person just looking for a battle.
Some lawyers do, and I find that those attorneys don’t reach settlements as readily as the ones who can be reasonable, kind (yes kind) and try to help their clients see that fighting really just brings about more fighting.
So back to the other day….there we were in Court, the Judge had just told us that he wanted our clients to communicate and work out their time with the children as though they were living in the same house and had to help each other with schedules. “Great,” I thought. We can try to mediate this (which is my favorite thing).
No sooner did the Judge strike his gavel to the desk and said “Adjourned”, that I walked out of the Courtroom and up to the other attorney, who bellowed at me “Your client can have the child today from 3 to 5”.
That was it! There was no “What should we do?”, no “What is your client’s schedule,” no “Let’s try to work this out.” It was “this is what we are going to give you, take it or leave it.” Not very amicable and certainly not a very good display of positive communication.
After a few more words, this attorney became rude (all in front of the clients, their parents and the deputies in the courthouse). She told me really really slowly (like I was stupid or something) that if I would stop talking and ….listen…..to……her…..words, maybe I would understand her. She treated me like I was in kindergarten. I really wanted to yell at her (something like…. @@####@@$$@#@#$#$#%#$%#%). But I didn’t. I did not think she was acting like a good role model for our client’s so I told her she was acting rude and walked out of the door. As I walked down the sidewalk with my client and his Mother, he said to me “That is what I have had to deal with for years.” I felt for him, because if the Mother treated him the way that this attorney had treated me, I would be upset and frustrated too. I congratulated him on keeping his cool and being polite.
Was this Lawyer doing her client a favor by her behavior? Did she get a better result for her client? Did she act professionally? I say no to all three.
I sure hope that she has better manners at the next court appearance. Maybe then we could get something accomplished.
Because, yes, I think that lawyers too, should be held to conduct themselves with good manners.
And that is all I have to say about that……for now.
Until my next little divorce blog……… Sue
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Susan Moore Daubner, Esq.
New York Divorce & Family Law Attorney
Ziff Law Firm
Elmira, New York
sdaubner@zifflaw.com